WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a stunning, masterful move this week that's being called a fine example of "4D chess," President Trump announced a push for the decriminalization of homosexuality across the globe, immediately forcing his political opponents to bend over backward explaining why they actually disagree with the idea.

As soon as Trump announced the plan, liberal activists across the country began working overtime on editorials, opinion pieces, and tweets explaining why this move actually means that Trump hates LGBT people. They then carefully detailed why true progressives actually need to oppose the decriminalization of LGBT people and practices.

"See, decriminalizing homosexuality is actually bad," one thinkpiece in an LGBT magazine began, "because, well, mainly because Trump is call

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