Enough Is Enough: Supreme Court Rules First Amendment Does Not Apply To Meghan Markle

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark unanimous decision, the United States Supreme Court ruled that the First Amendment, guaranteeing the right of free speech to American citizens, does not apply to Meghan Markle.

The emergency ruling came following outcry over Markle's continual attention-seeking and upheld a ruling made in the court of public opinion that the Duchess of Sussex should just shut her yap.

"The First Amendment is one of the most sacred in our nation," Chief Justice John Roberts wrote in a majority opinion. "It is a recognition of the divine rights bestowed upon all men by our Creator. But it is the opinion of the Court that Meghan Markle's speech doesn't count.

Markle joined a list of other known exceptions to First Amendment protections, such as defamatio