NEW YORK CITY, NY — The elderly Jewish community is reportedly at a crossroads this Election Day, torn between a man who would kill them for being Jewish and a man who would kill them for being elderly.

"Mamdani wants me dead for being Jewish," said Estelle Goldberg, a rabbi's wife. "But Cuomo would shove me in a nursing home infected with COVID and refuse to admit me to the hospital."

"It's a tough choice."

According to sources, the elderly Jewish community is very concerned about the results of this mayoral election, but doesn't see a way out of it. "It's like that movie, Alien vs. Predator ," said Ezekiel Cramstein, a retired baker and resident of Lonely Souls Nursing Home. "Whoever wins, we lose."

Curtis Sliwa, the Republican mayoral candidate, has attempted to remind everyone he

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