Every encounter with another person is an opportunity to shape that relationship. The first words out of your mouth are key in establishing the goodwill we all crave. Unfortunately, too often our opening lines damage that rapport.

I once had a client who was at a conference and saw a board member she wanted to get to know. She walked up to him and blurted out, “You look tired, have you been traveling?” He replied, “Why yes, I’ve just flown in from China.” She could see he was miffed by her negative comment. She admitted “I don’t know why I said that.” It was a poor start to a relationship she hoped to develop.

Below is a list of openers to avoid and suggestions for better choices.

GREETINGS TO AVOID

To begin with, steer clear of bland, clichéd questions that ask both too much and too l

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