Oct 7, 2023; Columbia, Missouri, USA; A general view of a LSU Tigers helmet against the Missouri Tigers during the first half at Faurot Field at Memorial Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

LSU is considered a crown jewel job within the college football ecosystem. Coaches who ply their craft elsewhere look at LSU with envy. Ed Orgeron won a national championship there. Les Miles won one and nearly two. Enough said.

The job’s so good, it would take a band of idiots to screw up a coaching search so badly as to make LSU unattractive.

Well, strike up the band!

In the latest twist of buffoons on the bayou, LSU is refusing to confirm it will pay fired coach Brian Kelly the $54 million buyout he’s owed, according to a lawsuit filed by Kelly’s lawyers.

The only way LSU would not owe Kelly his buyout is if it showed he violated his contract terms, allowing LSU to fire him for cause.

LSU has not offered evidence it fired Kelly for any other reason than his job performance. Kelly’s win-loss record is insufficient grounds for a for-cause firing.

Hence, the lawsuit.

“LSU repeatedly confirmed, both publicly and to Coach Kelly, that the termination was due to the team’s performance, not for cause,” the lawsuit states.

Let me put it plainly for LSU: You hired him, you fired him, and now you pay his failure money. That’s how this works.

“LSU is cooked,” attorney Tom Mars wrote on social media, adding “LSU’s stupidity” does not constitute grounds to stiff Kelly on his buyout.

Mars, a well-known lawyer in NCAA circles, is not part of Kelly’s legal team. He gained fame for representing former Mississippi coach Houston Nutt in his lawsuit against Ole Miss.

Mars’ assessment hits the mark. LSU entered into a stupid contract with Kelly. Now, it’s doubling down with more foolishness.

Never mind what you think of Kelly's job performance. This buyout charade only encumbers the process to replace him. It sends a message coaches can't trust LSU to honor its contracts. The messier LSU's situation becomes, the better Florida and Penn State look as destinations.

Brian Kelly lawsuit: LSU trying to stiff coach on buyout

The lawsuit continues that on Nov. 10, “for the very first time,” LSU representatives informed Kelly’s legal team the university believes it has for-cause grounds to fire Kelly.

And, get a load of this, apparently LSU has taken the position that Kelly has “not been formally terminated.”

Excuse me, what?

I could have sworn LSU publicly announced Kelly’s firing Oct. 26. That announcement included language LSU had separated with Kelly, “effective immediately.”

A few days later, Gov. Jeff Landry made a big to-do in a news conference about LSU being on the hook for Kelly’s whopper buyout.

“The spirit of the team needed a change, and so that change was made,” Landry said Oct. 29. “… Right now, we got a $53 million liability.”

That’s straight from the circus ringleader’s mouth.

I hate to be the one to tell LSU, but y’all fired Kelly last month.

We probably shouldn’t be surprised LSU can’t decide whether it has or hasn’t fired Kelly, more than two weeks after it fired Kelly.

Last week, Landry’s puppet Wade Rousse, LSU’s new president, couldn’t decide whether Verge Ausberry was or wasn’t LSU’s athletic director. Ausberry went from interim AD to having the interim tag removed to “acting AD” to, well, who knows what to call him?

LSU’s athletics website calls Ausberry the athletic director. We’ll go with that, at least until the next time Rousse opens his mouth and word-vomits. Ausberry’s the guy running the coaching search, anyway. Because, LSU fired Kelly.

You might recall LSU suspended Ausberry four years ago for his role in improperly handling complaints of sexual and physical abuse against LSU athletes. A reporter for the Louisiana Illuminator wrote last week Rousse told her he didn’t know much about Ausberry’s involvement in that scandal.

That’s how a puppet vets a hire.

LSU football coaching candidates will need some answers

To what degree will coaching candidates care about this ongoing eyesore? That depends on the coach.

Some will overlook the circus as an unfortunate sideshow that can be overcome. LSU’s three coaches before Kelly each won a national championship. This remains a national brand located within fertile recruiting terrain.

Show an egotistical coach the LSU job, and they’ll think, “I can win a national championship there. Les nearly won two …” Hand him his NIL budget, point him to the film room, and let him go to work.

A more skeptical coach who's currently thriving might demonstrate caution at leaving a good gig in favor of LSU's imbroglio. Kelly won more than 70% of his games, and he's having to sue LSU to get his buyout.

Coaches often tout the influence of university alignment to a program’s success. A coach, athletic director and president working in lockstep, free of interference from the governor’s mansion, is the dream.

LSU’s alignment consists of a couple of newbies, a meddling governor and a governor-appointed board of supervisors.

Prospective coaching candidates won’t care about Ausberry’s past suspension, but they might like assurance as to who’s running the show at LSU.

Is it the interim/acting/maybe-permanent athletic director?

Is it the puppet in the president’s suite?

Or, does the coach bypass them all and deal directly with the ringleader in the governor’s mansion?

This saga surrounding Kelly’s buyout puts off odd vibes, too, to potential candidates and especially to their agents. Paying buyouts to fired coaches who didn’t win enough is a cost of doing business. Neither Florida nor Penn State tried to stiff their fired coaches the buyout money owed upon termination.

Landry called for more fiscal responsibility within the next coach’s contract. That’s a charming thought, but this is a coaches’ market. Penny-pinching makes for a difficult sales pitch.

The LSU job should sell itself, but a brigade of buffoons keeps rising to the challenge of screwing this up.

Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network's senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Only a band of idiots could screw up LSU football. Introducing the buffoons on the bayou

Reporting by Blake Toppmeyer, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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