How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a woman in my 30s and I recently stayed at my boyfriend’s apartment and I’m feeling conflicted. Some context: He is in a happy open marriage, and they have been married for about a decade. I’ve never met his wife. They respect each other’s privacy when it comes to other partners. I’ve slept over at his place while his wife is out of town before. But this is the first time I’ve stayed at their joint home while they were both gone.

They’re currently on a trip, and I agreed to dog sit for them while they were away. I thought I was really happy with this arrangement, but seeing all the traces of their life, their pictures together, and all of her

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