How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My wife gives the best blow jobs I’ve ever had, save one thing.

She refuses to swallow. I find this interruption to be an absolute mood killer. Can you offer some advice on a good way to convince her how important it is for me to have the complete experience? Or is there some other finish that might feel as satisfying?

—Just Shy of Perfection

Dear Just Shy of Perfection,

Your wife is probably well aware that you feel having your semen swallowed is necessary for “the complete experience.” What you’re probably running into is the fact that she’s got her own feelings, boundaries, and preferences. Depending on how much circular discussion or even a

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