• As a psychologist, I know I need to give my 20-something sons independence. • I continue to support them in small ways, by booking doctor appointments and sending groceries. • Redefining our relationships has been hard, but I want them to know I will always help them.

My kids are 20 and 22, so they're technically adults. They're grown and independent, or so the thinking prevails. But are they really? Sure, they have the privilege of voting and private health records, but Hertz and a Heineken are still out of reach, at least for my youngest.

When I think back to myself at that age, some of my behavior was definitely not adult-like. Late-night hitchhiking in Europe. Lying about being a smoker to get what I thought would be a cooler roommate. Cutting off six inches of hair on a whim.

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