NEW YORK, NY - Columbia University archeologists have uncovered evidence that Noah may have had regrets about allowing geese onto the ark. On an expedition to Turkey to examine underwater remains of what researchers believe is the ark that Noah built to survive the biblical flood, journals were discovered and taken back to the University to be authenticated.

Archaeologist Janet Hennesey confirmed that the preserved pages came from Noah's ark and were most likely from a journal written by Noah himself. The numerous entries all share the same topic: lamenting the existence of geese on the ark and the regret the author felt for not murdering the horrid animals before they became part of God's newly purified planet.

The author of the documents speaks of the "wiggly-necked feathered demon spa

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