WINNIPEG, MB

After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway.

“We’re going to call it Light Rapid Thiessen,” said city spokesperson Belinda Martens. “We’ve already got Thiessens lined up to provide the service.”

Getting a ride in the back of a pickup truck will cost passengers a bag of sunflower seeds or a kiss on the cheek, whichever is cheaper.

“I think Winnipegers are really going to appreciate the improvements we’re making to our transit system,” said Martens. “I’m certain our new rusty pickup trucks will cut down your morning commute significantly.”

Winnnipeg’s Bus Rapid Transit lines will be replaced with Thiessens and

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