Each week, Prudence asks readers for their thoughts on the letters she’s received. Her reply will be available every Friday only for Slate Plus members .

Hey Prudence,

Re Wingman Who Doesn’t Know How to Fly: I’ve been swing dancing for many years now, and I’ve found that a lot of people wind up dating within the scene at some point—including me. But I’ve learned the hard truth about people who date this way.

The people who go solely to find a date don’t tend to last long. There’s definitely a big difference between doing an activity that you enjoy while being open to meeting someone, and dragging yourself to something that you aren’t actually interested in to try to pick someone up.

—Jools

Absolutely. Well, usually. I always have to mention that I have a friend who

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