WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to negative backlash over a poorly negotiated prison exchange with Russia, President Biden has begun reading The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump.

"I vow to do better," Biden told the family of Paul Whelan, a former U.S. Marine who is still stuck in a Russian prison. "That's why I picked up this great book from the library."

"I mean look at this guy. He looks like he makes deals every day!" said Biden, holding the book up proudly. "I promise you I'm going to be just like him. A real go-getter!"

Whelan's family initially expressed disappointment when American authorities first traded notorious Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, also known as "The Merchant of Death," for WNBA athlete Brittney Griner, but are now hopeful that a deal can be made. "If anyone can

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