Scooter Braun tried to buy OnlyFans but came down with a bit of anxiety when it was time to perform, according to a new report in Puck .

The music mogul, longtime Taylor Swift antagonist , and current Sydney Sweeney agonist (that’s a joke for my knows-a-bit-of-chemistry homies) led a purchasing group that valued OnlyFans at $8 billion. Braun was set to serve as the “face and brains” of the porn-adjacent platform — because after all, what OnlyFans user wouldn’t want to close their eyes and think of that face?

But alas, the deal suffered from contractile dysfunction. According to Puck, Braun “likely realized that every controversy about abuse on the platform would forever generate his name in the headline.” In other words, Braun eventually remembered that all those boobs

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