KANSAS CITY, MO

Mrs. Janzen, delegate from Oregon Mennonite Church, was caught skipping the afternoon seminar this Wednesday to get ahead of the rush at Arthur Bryant’s.

“What do you expect?” said Janzen. “We don’t have barbecue like this back home in Oregon.”

Janzen’s order of burnt ends, pulled pork, coleslaw and a large Arthur’s fries, would have gone unnoticed except for the conspicuous stain on her blouse when she got back to the conference.

“After extensive lab testing, we’ve discovered that one of our attendees has not been entirely honest about their whereabouts this afternoon,” said MCUSA director Glen Guyton. “However, since we are Mennonites, we believe in peace and reconciliation with our dear sister Mrs. Janzen. There but for the grace of God go you or I … to Arthur Bryant

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