As they say, the higher the hair, the closer to God.

The Real Housewives once rejected the Patron Saint of High Body Count Hair, but it’s a new day in Salt Lake City. Fresh off a flight from Hell, the Housewives are desperately in search of some spiritual healing to save their sordid souls, and they’ve decided to study that wise woman’s sing-songy message.

The disciples of Britani Bateman are finally worshipping at their new favorite altar, as the cast’s former—and current—jester has finally made her way up the social stratosphere for the first time. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City has held the inaugural “high body count hair” party, hopefully inspiring harlots across the nation to raise their glasses in honor of Britani.

Meredith Marks, chief spokesperson for the sl-ts of Ameri

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