The Feels employs super touchy exercises to get strangers to fall in love. Allie Hoffman, its founder, told me there's a method to the madness.
"A lot of what we're trying to do is just drop into body," Allie Hoffman told me of her singles mixer The Feels. "There's incredible wisdom and information that's available in the body. A body knows, 'Is this person really present with me? Is this person seeing me? Do they feel energetically good?'"
The conversations, I felt, were the highlight of The Feels.

VENICE, Calif. — I don’t think I’ve ever hugged anyone for this long in my life.

A few seconds ago, I was standing across from a total stranger. Now we’re in a full embrace, arms wrapped around each other. Honestly, I can't even remember the person's name − and I’ve already forgotten how long the hug is supposed to last. A coordinator named Beth, with soft eyes and a tranquil smile, has been guiding us through various touch-based exercises, and I know she's going to tell us when it's time to let go. Still, it feels like a century.

So far this evening, I've stared into the eyes of a stranger for over three minutes and placed my hand over another person's heart with their hand over mine. But this exercise — a long hug — is basically the final boss of The Feels (and perhaps the exercise the touchy singles mixer is best known for). And I'm determined to stick it out, no matter how awkward I may feel.

The Feels is a singles mixer that employs various touch-based techniques aimed at getting participants to learn more about themselves, chip away at their defenses and, maybe just maybe, fall in love along the way. The Level 1 experience, which I attended, typically costs around $90-100, and, in October, I had the opportunity to observe the Level 2 version and interview Allie Hoffman, the mastermind behind The Feels. During my reporting for that story, Hoffman encouraged me to try The Feels for myself in November. Curiosity piqued, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Here's how it went.

Dating is broken. 'The Feels' wants to fix it.

Hoffman previously told me Los Angeles is an interesting market for The Feels − and I can understand why. On the one hand, the city has plenty of people deeply invested in the psychospiritual. On the other, it's home to one of the most notoriously image-driven dating scenes in the country.

But Hoffman has formulated a way to fight back against the generic, transactional tide of online dating: Get singles to engage in deep eye contact, spiritually-centered conversation and, with consent, touching. Lots and lots of touching. Hence, The Feels was born.

Some may find the mixer strange, but, to Hoffman, who has a masters in psychology with a focus in spirituality from Columbia University, there's a method to the madness. By nudging people out of their heads and into contact, she hopes to also nudge them past their limited beliefs and rules around dating. For some, it's worked; Hoffman's heard from people who've gotten engaged as a result of The Feels.

"A lot of what we're trying to do is just drop into body," Hoffman told me in October. "There's incredible wisdom and information that's available in the body. A body knows, 'Is this person really present with me? Is this person seeing me? Do they feel energetically good?'"

I'm no energy healer, but I can say one of the most pleasant things about my time at The Feels was how open and willing everyone in the room seemed to be. Sure, there was some nervous laughter at times. But everyone seemed relaxed, optimistic and ready to try something new.

It was definitely a different vibe from the typical singles events and dating apps.

Did I fall in love at The Feels?

“Hey how’s it going?” “How’s your Saturday?” “What’s up?”

I’ve lost count of how many times I've read these messages and others like them on dating apps. And, truthfully, I don't really blame people for sticking with these safe openers (I've been guilty of sending them occasionally, too). Dating apps are weird. Human beings did not evolve to fall in love over text. Plus, with such limited information available about someone online, how else are you supposed to start a conversation?

Though the touch exercises were neat, my favorite part of The Feels were the conversation prompts that preceded them. One asked us to talk about a time we had to confront our shadows, a question the Carl Jung fan in me loved. Another asked us to share a time when being vulnerable brought something positive to our lives. Another for a problem that's surfaced in our past relationships and what might really be behind it (oof).

What felt so transgressive about The Feels to me had less to do with touch and more to do with how deep the conversations went so quickly. Even when there wasn't a romantic connection, getting to open up to a stranger definitely felt therapeutic. These moments were the anthesis of a dating app conversation. They were far more human.

Overall, I didn’t meet anyone I wanted to date. But, as Hoffman told me in October, that isn’t the point − and I went in with that mindset. If you meet your person there, she thinks that's great − some have. But the real gain, she says, is vulnerability and openness. That way, when you do meet the one, you'll be ready to make a deep, meaningful connection.

"For me, the dream is people take it off the mat and into the world. That they ask deeper, open questions. That they stop and be like, 'I just want to positively reflect you.' They stop and say, 'Hey, can we just hold a hug a little bit longer?' " she says. "It's not about meet the love of your life. It's about learn new tools."

I'll definitely be taking those tools with me going forward. I'll just probably save a long, uninterrupted hug for at least the second date.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: I tried the super touchy singles mixer 'The Feels.' Did I fall in love?

Reporting by Charles Trepany, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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