Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in horrific torment for their sins. Still, the ones he wrote about may seem a little outdated for modern readers. It's been 700 years since we learned who was hanging out in each circle of Hell in Dante's Inferno, and Hades has added quite a few souls!

After extensive investigation, The Babylon Bee has discovered the following updated list of who will be cast into Dante's 9 Circles of Hell:

Level 1: People who use talk-to-text in public.

Punishment: Condemned to spend eternity next to a woman screaming "NO, I SAID SLUSHY! SLUSHY!"

Level 2: Anyone who asks "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"

Punishment: They will endure the unending awkward silence their joke d

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