[What follows is one of the many merry articles in the Mercury's Winter Guide 2025. Find a print copy here, subscribe to get a copy mailed to you here, and if you're feeling generous this holiday season, support us here.—eds.]

Every fall, it happens.

The first moment you can feel hot air escaping through your air ducts, the smell of warmed-over spring and summer dust filling the room. That’s when you know it’s coming: winter in Oregon.

According to weatherspark.com, in Oregon, “the cloudiest part of the year begins around October 7 and lasts for 8.1 months.”

The website says it so casually. EIGHT MONTHS OF GRAY, OREGON. DEAL WITH IT.

Not to brag, but it doesn’t bother me. Which isn’t to say I don’t get depressed—I am one dysthymic bitch. It’s just not because of the rain. In fact, I’m

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