VIRGINIA - Terry McAuliffe said he's completely confused that telling parents the state owns their children, that parents have no say over what their kids learn in school, and that repulsively disgusting pornographic books are good for kids didn't prove to be electorally popular.

"It's so weird," a crestfallen McAuliffe told reporters. "We pulled out all the stops: we told parents that we own their children's minds, that they're wards of the state, and that their children should read horrific LGBTQ+ pornography in their school libraries, and it just didn't seem to connect with the people for some reason."

McAuliffe also performed a somber rendition of the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus classic song "We're Coming for Your Children" at his defeat party. "I know we've suffered a loss here,

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