Asking Eric: How do I teach grown kids respect?

Dear Eric: I am the stepmother to two great young men. Their father and I have been together since they were teenagers. When they were young, it was a difficult but necessary position for me to be in when it came to teaching them about manners and household chores. They thought I was nagging them to put a napkin on their lap, take their hat off at the dinner table, take their shoes off when they entered the house, carry their dishes to the sink, put the seat down, etc.

Now that they are grown men, I am running into a similar, uncomfortable position with them and their significant others. I feel like I am stepping on eggshells and biting my tongue when they come to visit because they have seemed to forget the things we taught them years ago.

At a recent family gathering, none of the “kids