CORUSCANT - 100 days after Chancellor Palpatine survived an attack that left him scarred and deformed, yet with a stronger resolve to form a new empire, many are wondering if galactic citizens feel more unified than they did before. In response, a new ABC News poll revealed that 23% percent of the Galaxy believes they are more unified since Palpatine became Emperor.
"Wow, 23%! That's a great number! Way more than 22%!" said an ABC reporter. "Not only that, but an overwhelming 87% of that 23% give Palpatine credit for our great unity! Good job, Emperor Palpatine!"
"Emperor Palpatine has brought order and stability to a galaxy at war with itself," said Grand Moff Tarkin. "Now as this poll so clearly indicates, we have all been unified by Palpatine's leadership. All can rest easy with Storm

The Babylon Bee

AlterNet
Associated Press US and World News Video
Raw Story
The Daily Beast
OK Magazine