Brought to you by: Trump Trendz

Following what the FBI confirmed was a second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the Secret Service has reportedly been hard at work collaborating with the private security team at Trump's Mar-a-Lago home to increase security.

Through interfacing with a vast network of inside sources, The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of new security measures the Trump campaign will be implementing immediately:

Security will now be required to yell "Any assassins out here?" before bringing Trump outside: Also, all would-be assassins will be required to say "Yeah, I'm here."

Post "Gun-Free Zone" signs around Mar-a-Lago: Everyone knows a good "Gun-Free Zone" sign is the most surefire way to eliminate all threats.

Obtain a restraining o

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