Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

There’s a girl, “Claire,” in my 9-year-old daughter “Rachel’s” class whom she doesn’t like. Rachel complains that Claire is “fat, stupid, and ugly and needs to be flushed down a toilet.” The trouble is that my husband has come up with what I think is an inappropriate way for our daughter to be channeling her feelings.

He gave her a journal and told her to write out everything she hates about Claire and why, instead of being mean to her. His logic is that we can’t force Rachel to like Claire. He says this is a healthy way for Rachel to express herself. I don’t think encouraging a child to make lists of why they hate someone is constructive. Thoughts

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