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Katie Wilson is the new mayor. After being edged and edged and edged by King County Elections’ slow, sensuous ballot-counting method, Wilson came out just over 2,000 votes ahead. Our crotches ache, and it’s not a mandate, but at least Bruce Harrell isn’t going to yell at us anymore. That was even harder to come to. If you have a heart, please consider donating to the Bruce Harrell Coping Society. They only have millions of dollars to make the pain go away.

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Much to the disappointment of corporate simps and adult baby milkshake lovers, Wilson stood alongside striking Starbucks workers. Thos

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