TRUMP consistently believes everyone loves his muddled anecdotes and offensive quips, and if you follow his tips this Christmas season so could you! Let the master help:

Believe their enjoyment is unconnected to you having power over them

Everything I say is met with wild enthusiasm because I’m a genius storyteller, not because they’re sycophants who would lap up my vomit with a smile on their face if I told them to. FBI director Kash Patel can testify to that personally. He particularly enjoyed the gherkin.

Be convinced staring open-mouthed is a sign of approval

It means your interlocutor can’t hear enough. Today I announced I would be replacing the dollar with cryptocurrency, followed by my off-the-cuff thoughts on how slavery was actually very positive for blacks. Everyone enjoyed i

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