Is your relationship solid – or sinking? The bird theory thinks it knows

What would you say if your partner told you they saw a bird today? Would you mumble noncommittally, or ask a follow-up question?

You might be surprised to know that thousands of people on TikTok and Instagram would judge you if you chose the former.

According to the “bird theory”, a resurgent talking point on social media, showing curiosity about such a minor event proves you’re genuinely interested in your partner. This, in turn, means you have a good relationship.

Is it really that deep? Or does it reveal something more fundamental about how we think about romance right now? Here are the dos and don’ts of bird theory – and the science-backed reasons this trend hits such a nerve.

What is the bird theory?

In 2022, the researcher and psychologist Julie Gottman explained the con