WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a hotly anticipated announcement, the Biden 2024 Presidential Campaign has just unveiled its exciting new campaign slogan: "Only Senile Some Of The Time."

Staffers say that the motto is meant to help redirect growing distrust of the president's failing mental capacities by reminding Americans that Biden is only senile some of the time, rather than suffering from dementia all of the time.

"Joe's been catching a bad rap lately, and we just think that people don't realize that he's actually fairly lucid for about three to four hours each day, depending on medications," said Curt Kristoferson, a senior Biden campaign staffer and slogan designer. "He doesn't really even start showing his age until about 4:00 in the afternoon — he's sharp and energetic for a good couple o

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