Say hello to the dummy who believes the Celtics should still tank.

It’s me. The rootin’-for-losin’ dope.

Now, tanking almost certainly would be the best outcome of the 2025-26 season for the franchise in the long run.

Acknowledge that, at least, before we dig into why it’s not happening.

You know the tanker’s script: Win 30-something games, slide into the lottery, hope for their own fortunate bounces of the Ping-Pong balls such as the Mavericks, Spurs, and 76ers got in the last draft, trust Brad Stevens (always trust Brad Stevens) to draft a high-end young player to complement Jaylen Brown and the returning Jayson Tatum, and get back to the business of winning often next season.

It’s a logical path, I tell you, if a soulless and kind of lousy one when it comes to competitive spirit.

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