Parent advice: My daughters are desperate to be like the other girls in our new town. The problem is exactly what that entails.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I moved ourselves and our tween and teen daughters this fall, for work. This state is known for a religion we’re not in, so I knew it would be a transition. What I didn’t expect was the crazy beauty standards and how they would impact our kids. In our previous city, there was definitely an ideal to be thin to be “cool,” but there seemed to be lots of subcultures in fashion and interests. It wasn’t super diverse, but it wasn’t all white.

In our new area, I’m often the biggest outlier in a crowd just for being more olive-toned with dark hair, as are my girls. The girls’ classmates often go to the salon with their moms for blonde hair o