WASHINGTON, D.C. — To prepare for his big week of bickering with Kevin McCarthy and appearing on right-wing media, Florida Representative Matt Gaetz visited his stylist and demanded he make him look like a stock photo of a complete douchebag.

Whereas many Americans ask their barber to make them look like a picture of a celebrity, such as Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston, or ask for a specific haircut such as a coif or fade, Gaetz simply did a Google image search for "total douchebag," printed out the first stock photo that popped up, and brought it to his appointment.

"As I was styling his hair to match the picture he kept saying, ‘Bigger! Douchier!'" explained his stylist, Brandon Nohomo, "It's kind of his signature look. Douchey hair. Douchey suit. Douchey tie. And to pull the look togeth

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