Dear Eric: My children are grown. Two live locally and one super local (our home!). One is married with young children, and we see them often, spending most holidays with them. (In-laws are unpleasant, to say the least.)

Our middle child is in a relatively new relationship that has become pretty serious. We planned a beach vacation with my in-laws (our kids’ cousins, aunt and uncles) for Thanksgiving, which everyone seemed excited about when we booked the house.

Now the middle child will come with his girlfriend for just a few days and then fly to her family for the actual holiday. He has been noncommittal about Christmas because they may again travel to her family.

When we got married, we alternated holidays with our families or stayed home. We were careful not to favor one side over t

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