For most of her adult life, Niro Feliciano 's checklist for the holidays looked like this: Host the family gathering, write greeting cards, shop for gifts, decorate and peel carrots for Santa's reindeer — all while raising four kids and going to work every day.

All the effort to make things perfect for her family left Feliciano feeling frantic and disconnected when the holidays finally arrived.

Life Kit

The key to a less frantic holiday season

One Christmas morning, she says she was so tired from preparing the night before that she could barely stay awake while her children opened their presents. "I remember thinking: I'm not here. I'm missing this."

That realization spurred Feliciano, a psychotherapist, to write a book on how to stay present during the holidays: All is Calmish

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