WASHINGTON, D.C. - After clearly and methodically laying out an iron-clad case for recommending charges against Hillary Clinton Tuesday, FBI Director James Comey instead announced that the comprehensive investigation into her use of a personal email system had found the presumptive Democratic nominee for President to be totally and utterly above the law.

"We assess it is possible that hostile actors gained access to Secretary Clinton's personal e-mail account," Comey said plainly, after explaining that Clinton had in fact used numerous private servers and mobile devices to knowingly send and receive highly classified information over a shoddy email system that did not have even basic security features like those employed by regular email clients like Gmail. "Normally this would be prosecu

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