DEAR ABBY: Where and how do you draw the line between being kind and being a people pleaser? Furthermore, how do you know when you’re doing something that you don’t particularly want to do, but don’t mind doing, either out of kindness or an inability to say no?

Sometimes, I regret committing to something only when I’m actually in the middle of it or just beforehand. Other times, I realize I’ve taken on too many responsibilities, which makes me feel frustrated and stressed, even though I still enjoy being helpful whenever possible. How do I recognize and avoid these unpleasant feelings and experiences? -- CARRYING THE WEIGHT

DEAR CARRYING: You are a good person. Now start being as nice to yourself as you try to be to others. Because keeping the promises you make to these people is causing

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