For the last year and a half, Angela has been waging a silent corporate war with her boss. When the two women started working together in finance, they were peers. Even then, Angela felt this coworker was a little too judgmental when Angela took time off work, a little too comfortable asking Angela why she was avoiding her in the hallways. (Angela says she never purposely shirked her.)

But about seven months ago, the colleague was promoted to be Angela’s manager. Her behavior became even more intrusive, says Angela (Vox granted her a pseudonym to talk freely about her manager without repercussions). “When I have doctor’s appointments,” Angela, a 33-year-old who lives in Philadelphia, says, “she wants me to put them on her calendar and tell her what they are.” Her boss has even given her n

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