U.S. - According to sources, several prominent leftists are expressing worry that Communism failing every time it's tried could be making Communism look bad.

"This is a real problem," said Dr. Petri Smirnoff, a local leftist college professor. "There is a real danger of kids being turned off to Communism due to the annoying fact that it's a godless and inhuman ideology that fails in spectacular fashion resulting in death or starvation literally every time it's implemented. It's really not fair. It may lead to people thinking Communism is bad even though we know it's really good when implemented correctly."

Historians say that the gulags in the U.S.S.R., torture in North Korea, concentration camps in China, starvation in Venezuela, and people desperately escaping Cuba could serve to make

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