WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what experts immediately hailed as a genius move to combine necessary crowd control with settling a viral social media debate, President Donald Trump announced that he would be releasing one gorilla to fight every 100 rioters.

After closed-door talks with his closest advisors, President Trump made the executive decision to use the anti-ICE riots taking place across the country as a setting for a scientific experiment to determine, once and for all, if one gorilla was a match for 100 humans.

"We'll finally have the answer, and probably an end to the riots," Trump told reporters after announcing the release of the gorillas. "We've rounded up our very best gorillas for the job. America actually has some very fine gorillas, believe it or not. We'll be dropping one goril

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