At a recent JPMorgan Chase employee town hall meeting, one brave soul brought up a petition pushing back against the firm’s decision to force workers to return to the office five days a week.

“Don’t waste time on it. I don’t care how many people sign that f-ing petition,” CEO Jamie Dimon responded.

Dimon’s language might be particularly salty, but his sentiment is common among CEOs of tech and financial firms. Amazon, Disney, Google. One after another, they’ve ordered employees to return to full-time, in-office work over the last few years.

Which means a whole lot of workers are grumpily packing their laptop bags and digging their hard pants out from the bottom of the closet, right?

You could be forgiven for thinking that return-to-office mandates mean tons of employees are returning t

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