U.S. — Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra announced in a press conference Thursday that, going forward, every single human behavior would now be classified as either Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD.

"You name it, you got it," said Becerra. "Laziness? That's autism. Playing Pickleball? That's ADHD. Watching people play Pickleball? That's autism again."

"Okay but what about cuddling up on the couch with a good book on a rainy day?" asked MSNBC reporter Bob Daniels.

"Are you deaf? That's autism," Becerra answered. "Sounds like you might have ADHD if you can't figure this out."

A reporter from Fox News then asked about narcissism, but the HHS Secretary confirmed that narcissism is also caused by autism.

The American Psychological Association (APA) issued a statement cl

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