WASHINGTON, D.C. - Rep. Adam Schiff and the House Intelligence Committee called on their first star witness to prove that Donald Trump committed high crimes and misdemeanors: Swedish climate change activist Greta Thunberg.

"Ms. Thunberg, thank you for being here today," Schiff began but was immediately interrupted by the girl:

"How dare you!" she shouted.

"Oh, heh, um... I'm on your side, here, let's take it easy," Schiff continued awkwardly. "What information do you have on Donald Trump and his blatant corruption when it comes to his phone call with Ukraine?"

"You have stolen my dreams and my childhood!" she shouted, pounding the table in front of her. The crowd began to get emotional, weeping and shouting and screaming at the sky all at once. "This is all wrong! I shouldn't be here.

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