OAKVILLE, ON

In response to widespread criticism of recent cuts to employee benefits in some of its stores, iconic Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons has graciously decided to raise its starting wage from 12 Timbits an hour to 15. Senior employees, those with at least ten years experience, will also be given two creamers and a sachet of sugar.

“We realize it’s not easy to survive on just a dozen Timbits these days,” said company spokesperson Doug Martin. “I’m confident that a couple extra toasted coconut and chocolate glazed donut holes each hour will make life a lot more comfortable for our struggling employees.”

Tim Hortons also announced a pay raise for its longest-serving employees, though it does come with some restrictions.

“Currently the pay-scale maxes out at 30 Timbits, you know

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