Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I’m a 15-year-old girl, the older of two siblings. I was using the family computer and wanted to check my Reddit, and that’s when I found out that Dad has a Reddit account too. I didn’t snoop then, but I did write down his account name and then checked it out on my phone later.

I shouldn’t have done that. I should have realized it was private because he had never mentioned it.

A lot of his posts were heavy. They consisted of complaints about his life, how he resents his family, and then feels guilty about feeling so resentful. How he can’t stand Mom anymore but thinks it’s important to put up a good front for us kids, and how he wishes just once h

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