CAPERNAUM — Town officials are concerned after receiving multiple complaints from faculty at Galilee's School for the Blind this week after Jesus of Nazareth apparently went on a healing spree and decimated the school's enrollment.

"We were set to have an all-time high in our number of students enrolled," said Rabbi Ananias Ben Josef, administrator of the school. "Come to find out, this carpenter — from that Nazareth ghetto of all places — strolled through Capernaum and started healing blind people left and right! We've got less than half of our original enrollment now! How am I supposed to pay overhead costs when I have hardly any students?"

Witnesses throughout the town said Jesus arrived with his group of disciples late in the morning at the beginning of the week and quickly drew a la

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