WINNIPEG, MB

The ladies from the Winkler EMMB Quilting Group were heading into the city on one of their monthly outings. They had intended to attend a panel discussion at the Millennium Library, when a mixup in the elevator led them to the arena with a bunch of slovenly metal fans.

“Oh, jauma, this is certainly not was I was expecting,” said veteren quilter Mrs. Brandt, 73. “Thousands of young men thrashing about in unwashed T-shirts and smelling worse than Uncle Henry after feeding the pigs.”

When the mix-up was discovered, Mrs. Brandt immediately demanded their quick departure, but the others were not convinced.

“We drove all this way from Vankla,” said Mrs. Friesen. “We might as well stick around for Kirk Hammett’s solo on ‘Ride the Lightning.'”

The other quilters agreed with Mrs.

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