ODDLY, vice president JD Vance is holidaying in the Cotswolds. To welcome him, here are some ideas for activities in this lovely area of Britain.

Drink a cup of tea that’s been pissed in

JD probably does not realise quite how despised he is by Brits, or that we remember his disgusting bullying of Volodymyr Zelensky. So any visit to a traditional Cotswolds tea shop is going to carry a risk of piss consumption. The extra ingredients of a slice of chocolate cake may be worse.

Visit Crocodiles of the World in Brize Norton

JD should visit this crocodile zoo, and be aware that they are the friendliest and most affectionate of reptiles, essentially just a cold-blooded Labrador. They’re very tactile and love it when you pat them on the nose, or indeed get down on the ground and give them a big

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