A woman diagnosed with incurable metastatic cancer is facing challenges in preparing her husband for her eventual passing. After surviving colon cancer five years ago, she and her husband downsized to a smaller, one-story home in a retirement community. Now, at 62, she is undergoing difficult treatment to prolong her life, but the emotional toll is significant.

The couple has been married for 45 years, and she feels her husband is not ready to confront the reality of her illness. Despite her efforts to prepare him, she finds it difficult to engage him in discussions about her wishes and the necessary arrangements for when she is no longer there. She has informed their daughter about the location of important paperwork and legal documents, hoping her daughter can assist in the process.

In a response, an advice columnist noted that it is not possible to force someone to take the lead in such a sensitive situation. The husband may be overwhelmed by the thought of losing his wife and could be in denial about her condition. The columnist advised the woman to ensure her daughter is aware of her wishes and to be forgiving of her husband’s emotional state, as he will need to cope with the loss in his own way.

In a separate letter, another individual expressed concern about a friend named Jake, who is set to be a groomsman at a wedding but has been informed he will not receive a plus-one invitation for his girlfriend. The bride explained that only those in relationships prior to the engagement are invited with a guest. Jake and his girlfriend feel insulted by this decision, especially since they have been in a serious relationship for over six months.

The advice columnist acknowledged that while it is not mandatory to offer a plus-one, it is generally considered courteous to do so, especially for members of the wedding party. The columnist suggested that Jake might want to decline the invitation and allow the groom to find another groomsman, as it would be uncomfortable for him to celebrate while his girlfriend remains at home.