He’s haunted dating apps from the dawn of Tinder, peppering his profile with pics of him cuddling lovable pups or flashing pearly whites while holding someone else’s baby—always swiftly identified as such with a “not my kid” disclaimer in his bio. His hobbies include giving Golden Retriever Boyfriend by posing with literal Golden Retrievers, flaunting his reproductive potential by playing house with other people’s children, and, of course, telling you what you want to hear.

It’s not that any of these things are necessarily red flags in and of themselves. It’s that they’re green flags he’s performatively planting in an all too transparent attempt to rack up more matches, hence the new pejorative he’s acquired on social media: the “Performative Male.” While this genre of man has always

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