KYIV, UKRAINE — The United States has solved the crisis in Ukraine after Congress voted to install a "gun-free zone" sign in Ukraine. The sign is expected to put an end to the Russia-Ukraine crisis, which began in 2014 with fighting in isolated regions before escalating to a full-scale land invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.

"Welp, I guess it's over," said one Russian general in Crimea. "The sign is very clear, comrades. There's no way of getting around this. Time to go back home!"

"This is a big win for peace," said Chris Murphy, the junior Democratic Party senator from Connecticut. "These signs will put a stop to all fighting in Ukraine and restore stability to the region, just like they do in downtown Chicago."

Some in Congress feel like the sign is just a start. "The sign is fine

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