Dear Annie: Thank you for your strong and thoughtful letter about keeping relationship details private.
I have noticed there seems to be a kind of unspoken “girl code” that makes some women feel it’s perfectly acceptable to ask personal questions about someone’s sex life -- as if those boundaries don’t apply among friends. I have always found those conversations uncomfortable, and I often felt unsure how to gracefully shut them down without sounding rude or overly guarded.
That’s why I really appreciated your advice. I loved your simple and elegant response: “I never kiss and tell.” It’s firm without being defensive, and it communicates self-respect without inviting further questions.
In the past, I’ve tried saying things like, “I don’t like to talk about sexual stuff with anyone, and I