Brought to you by: PublicSq

As you may know, our government just passed a very important and necessary omnibus spending bill to make sure all the important government activities remain funded! Whew, what a relief!

We forced an unpaid intern to read all 4,155-page bill and report on some of the most essential programs being funded! Here they are:

$20 Million to teach transgender Argentinian farmers how to use TikTok: So very important. TikTok needs their voice.

$3 million to hire more guards for the ark of the covenant: Rumor has it Epstein's client list is in there.

$18 billion to cover Martha's Vineyard's new immigrant-deflecting dome: It's the compassionate thing to do.

$500 million to figure out what's in the omnibus bill: Our unpaid intern already did it for free so we're not

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